Real Life Events

I realise that I have met numerous interesting people in my life. The majority of which I have met within the past 2 or so years I have been attending college. The following is a story from someone I met this past summer.

I was also told that my friend James Harper knows of these events

> I guess I'll start with a tale of the biggest dumbass I know.
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> Once upon a time there was a man, we'll call him... Skylar. Skylar was the fucking koolest kat you'll ever meet, but he had very unfortunate luck.
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> One time while driving home from a movie in mid December, Skylar thought it would be a great Idea to try and pass the dumbasses going 2 miles an hour in front of him, making it very difficult for him to get to his destination. As he pulled around the dodge in his '96 Mercedes (no joke), he hit a patch of what we can only assume was ice. as this happened he was thrown from the road like hotwheels car on a track that hasn't been finished. Propelling him almost 200 yards into the shallow end of a pond on the side of the road. Regaining consciousness almost a full 10 minutes later, he realized, oh shit, I'm in a body of water in the middle of FUCKING DECEMBER! thinking quickly he reached for his cell phone to call his folks, a reasonable thought. But oh wait, His parent's were out of town for their anniversary, and who was in charge of him and his 2 siblings while they were away.. that's right, his Grandmother. The Conversation went something like this.
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> "Hello?"
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> "Yeah, Hi grandma, I may have driven into a pond..."
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> "Oh for fuck's sake I'll be right there."
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> In this time a kindly Bounty Hunter with a truck the size of my house (i couldn't make this up) was nice enough to help Skylar out of his somewhat wet and frostbitten predicament, for the reasonable fee of 150 dollars. Even after all this his car was still in perfect working condition, minus the front bumper, both side view mirrors, and his front driver window (all of which I assume are still at the bottom of said pond). So like any normal human being, he decided to drive it home.
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> Oh did I forget to mention he was on his first date with a girl from his high school, yeah, not the best date in recorded history, I'm sure. And where did this charming woman live you might ask. Fucking Novi. So, not only did Skylar have to drive his ass home, but later his grandmother had to drive his date home with him, as she was practically paralyzed with fear. What a joyous hour or so ride that must have been.
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> The only words of condolence he would receive was when he called his father to explain what had happened. Who would say to him.
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> "Well that's why they are called accidents."
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> The story you have just read isn't based on real events, they ARE real events.